I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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