You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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