So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
