She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Randomize
