I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
