white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
