i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize