my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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