So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
