Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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