But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
are you so shy because you have an std?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
