Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
