happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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