i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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