The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize