i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
