Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize