Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
