Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
