Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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