i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
