If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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