Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
