How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
