I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw a hot homeless man
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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