Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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