Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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