They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
