john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
