I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
