I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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