hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
