I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
