you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
