Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
