I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
