Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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