end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
did i walk over a car last night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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