Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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