She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
