at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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