i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
