my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
