I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
