brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He kissed a someone with a penis
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
