Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
