Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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