HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my being single is dangerous.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize