evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
