wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.