i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.