oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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