i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
