I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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