I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
