I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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