Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize