is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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