which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
