super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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