we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
