i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize