God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
