I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we made out on top of his cat.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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