She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
