marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
